Thank you so much for your letter, your thoughts brighten my day and remind me of all that is good in my life, especially because it is fleeting. I have taken to heart your pledge to better oneself through practice.
I hurried home to write to you after finishing my physical therapy session. I have been going to therapy twice a week for a couple of months and it is truly one of the highlights of my week. At first, I enjoyed it for the relief that comes from the stretching and manipulation of my stiff muscles, but it has developed into much more. It is my hour to be completely selfish. To give into the relief, to force my mind to listen to my body and to celebrate the progress, as frustratingly measured as it is.
I have given a lot of thought to manifesting wisdom through action and perfecting it through practice. Like you, I find this one of my greatest challenges. There is so much written about MS and the myriad of ways in which you can manage your symptoms or curb the progression of the disease. Eat the right foods (by following countless diets) exercise, meditate, acupuncture, the list is long, and I have tried many of them. Admittedly, these all have some benefit to varying degrees. Why then, if I know these things will help me, do I purposely choose to ignore my better judgement and eat greasy burgers, sleep in late and forgo yoga for a movie with a friend? Not enough practice! More importantly not enough mental fortitude.
By encouraging me to begin this blog you have forced me to write down those truths I have purposely ignored or denied. Despite everyone around me that willingly offers help, how I manage my disease and the choices I make are my responsibility, and in the end, mine alone. I pledge to honor this gift by working to perfect my practice. Documenting this journey, the good, the bad and the ugly. I ask in advance to continue your insight, inspiration and of course, to call me on my bullshit when you see it.